Your child has discovered swearing for himself.
"You ass!" Such statements make parents freeze at first. Such terms, from your small, innocent child can be really disturbing at first. Most parents cannot and will not tolerate this and even less accept it. They wonder how their child knows these words and, more importantly, how to stop them from using the newly learned words. But how exactly can this be prevented? Rant? Punish? Laugh it away, or just ignore it? This is exactly what we will take a closer look at in this article.
First of all, as parents, you cannot avoid your child coming into contact with swear words. On the playground, in kindergarten, from older siblings/children - the day will come when your child will hear these words and most likely save them directly. Younger children still use these words impartially, because they don't yet have a system of values and norms like we adults do. That's why requests like "You don't say shit, please don't do that" usually bounce off because they can neither understand nor comprehend them. You can't evaluate statements yet, it's a years-long learning process. Therefore, you should never expect your child to understand why they shouldn't use the word "shit" all the time after the first admonition.
Here are a few tips on how to deal with your cursing children:Be a good role model
Your child will adapt the colloquial language within the family. So you should pay attention to the words you use at home.
Don't ban every swear word on principle
There are different types of swear words, you shouldn't ban them all. For example, you should allow your child words like "fool."
Consider your child's age
Children under the age of three pick up words and repeat them, and are happy when they can generate a reaction. At this age it makes little sense to explain to your child why they should not use these words. Even cognitively, your child is not yet able to understand this at this age. From the age of three, your child understands the difference between good and bad, right and wrong. From then on, it makes sense to explain to your child why they should not use the word.
First of all, don't pay attention
Try not to show any reaction when your child uses a swear word. If they don't get any attention to what is being said, there is a high probability that they will quickly lose interest. Even if it is sometimes difficult, you should definitely not "reward" what has been said with a smile.
Set clear boundaries
As already mentioned in the previous point, there are some swear words that you can safely ignore. But there are also some that are absolutely intolerable. With these types of words, it's important that you speak directly to your child. Remain calm and explain to your child that doing so can offend, hurt, or alienate people.
Explain the meaning of swear words
Try to explain to your child in an age-appropriate way what these words mean or what these words can trigger in other people.
Let consequences follow
If your child throws swear words around and, even after repeated requests, to refrain from doing what they are not doing, you should have understandable consequences. For example, if your child constantly insults the other children at the playground, then the logical consequence would be that you go home. Explain to your child that you are going to leave the playground now because what they say is hurting the other children.
You can explain to your child that there are situations in which a swear word can slip out, or that it helps to vent anger. However, you should either invent your own swear words for it, or find alternatives, so "shit" can just become "window glue".
Even if it is important to you that your children do not swear, you will not be able to avoid it completely. Swearing is part of childhood.